Today my beautiful boy turned 9 months old, 9 months in utero, 9 months in arms. I feel like the most blessed mama, to have watch him him grow and change each passing day, nourished with my milk. To have shared his joys and smiles, felt exausted by his antics and energy, to have simply felt able to giive as a mother.
The very deep realisation that with Daisy these 9 months I didn't get to share. We lost her just as it seemed she was prepairing to arrive. Daisy died during labour, folowing a completed, healthy pregnancy, unexpectedly, unexplained. Our first born, a heartbreaking introduction to parenthood. She was beautiful, perfect, each little fold of skin, lock of hair, cherry red lips. Seth arrived almost a year after with a statement, he went breech during labour, come out the sun roof and let us know just what a great blessing modern science can be at times (yes I hate to confess), having a prolapsed cord with a true knot, Prayers work! 9 months in so many ways seems such a significant arrival, it has been an emotional journey of unsteadying faith but we are getting there! And I thank God to be here, thank you Seth for arriving, growing and allowing my love, and to Daisy, purest of all souls for watching over us.
xxx
1 comments:
What a gorgeous lad you have. I can't imagine how painful it must feel to not have your Daisy with you too - especially with no answers as to why. Love and hugs to you hon xxx
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